Today I planned for the first time to take my students out to the basketball court to chill out for the last 20 minutes of class. They have been testing all week and were barely holding on to the wee bit of sanity they had left. A colleague down the hall keeps this marvelous ball under his desk. I now know why.
I slid into the room with the ball. The bell was due to buzz in 1 minutes. Three male students basically bum rush me as I enter:
Them: WHAT IS THAT?
Me: Uh. Jeez. I know it’s warm today, are your brains fried? Also, please move away from me, you are in my personal space.
Me: Girls, please grab your warm up and have a seat, and take that comb out of your hair.
The bell buzzes (sounds weird, but it’s a buzzer we refer to as the bell-old school, right?)
Them: WELL, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT?!
Me: I’ll let you know once you have completed the warm up.
Them: Tell us now and we’ll do our warm up .
Me: Wow. This isn’t a democracy here people.
I walk slowly around the room. Which, is for once, silent. All eyes are on the orange sphere tucked under my right elbow, snug against my moist (another word middle schoolers hate) armpit. I realized what this sphere of influence could do under my realm. At last. Complete and total control…or promise of.
Sphere of Influence: a country or area (31 physically -not necessarily mentally- occupied desks) in which another country ( ME! ) has power to affect developments although it has no formal authority (ME! Again! The last 2 weeks have proven how the level of respect for most “formal” authoritative figures within these hallowed walls has slid quite low by now, trust me) I need all the help I can get.
I slowly reveal our daily agenda for the day on the SMARTBOARD.
GOOD MORNING. YOU HAVE AN INCENTIVE THAT WILL REVOLVE AROUND EVERYONE APPROPRIATELY COMPLETING A WARM UP AND LESSON COMPREHENSION TASK.
THIS IS A WHOLE CLASS REWARD-ALL OR NOTHING.
The questions and insinuations are already flying across rows. Shut up, Eliot! YOU know you’ll ruin it.
You shut the shuck up!
Me: Gee, sure does sound like that basketball court out there will be empty after all, I sigh heavily, regrettably.
Them: WWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAA? WE ARE ACTUALLY GOING OUTSIDE TO PLAY WITH THE BASKETBALL????
FINISH YOUR WARM UP, PEOPLE.